Friday, March 9, 2012

Vent Session

Creativity seems so much safer to me and easier than relationships.
Not necessarily romantical mushy gushy, but more so relationships in general, especially really tough friendships.
I have never had much luck with holding onto friendships, I mean sometimes I have a hard time handling myself why in the world would I add another to the equation, right?
That is a very negative way to think about it, but I had a bad experience with someone I used to so strongly consider my friend.
People are surprising. They don't always understand. And sometimes I wonder whether being beaten down over and over again is worth hurt and aggravation.
Clearly I'm not going to just give up, but some friendships just don't seem worth it at times.

Everyone has something that occurs like this, the point where you say to your self: "Self, do I really want to go through this over and over again?"
Yes or no?
I have no idea where to go at this point.
To rise above it or finally let it go completely.
Each answer has its pains and reliefs.

ENOUGH venting on my part...
the point of all this feeling sorry for myself is that I find so much loyalty and consistency in what I do creatively.
It's a safe place. You're creations are under your molding hands and you don't have to worry about them dropping you as a friend or breaking your trust or hurting your heart and making it sore.
In turn, it stirs your mind and inspiration.
Filling you with a totally feeling of worth and placement in the world.
Knowing what you've made is exactly how you need/ want it to be and if it's not exactly what you expected you can start over or change it! No one else can influence it, unless you allow them to.

This all sounds very 'sad', but I have people I love an depend on, trust included, but this is just the sadness I'm feeling right now.
I'm sure you can relate in one way or another.
This world is so selfish, I have been guilty of such, but I wish we could open up our understanding to know why or how we hurt others.
I've hurt others, but I feel more than one time offenders should reflect one their actions or insensitivity.
Yes, I may be easily hurt, but think of where you've come from.

AHHH. Depth. So much thinking. I need something cute to brighten such a mood.....
Yep, that did it for me. Help?
Now, for my sake. Have a good day.
Cuddle with someone you love, treat those you see every day and take for granted, be thankful for them and let them know.
And if you're anything like me...
Cuddle with your Large white chocolate mocha (skim milk) and tell it how much you are thankful for it....
nom nom